I can't believe it's been two months since I returned to Sydney. We have moved house, I've finished all of the paintings for my show, and the exhibition opens tomorrow night. I intended to get personal invites off to everyone I met on my trip, but a combination of busy-ness, moving (and displacing all of my addresses), and getting the printed invitations really late from the printer (and not enough) has led to me just freezing up and not inviting anyone.
This often happens with my exhibitions. I tell people that I will contact them when I have an upcoming show, and then just before it comes I freeze up and pretend it's not going to happen. I think it must be one of those personal artist quirks. I do feel horrible though, and hope that none of the people that I stayed with on my trip take it the wrong way. I somehow feel like if I invited them and they actually came in to Sydney, that I would be inconveniencing them for going out of their way to see my paintings. I know it sounds crazy, but when all of the attention starts to focus on me I start to feel unworthy. That's most certainly not the case during the rest of the year, I just think it has something to do with all of the pressure surrounding a yearly solo exhibition. I miss being out bush. I hope you all are well.